Shred it, Destroy it, Burn it, Kill it

Tear it apart, to build it back up again.
Shred it, destroy it, burn it, kill it.
Who knew a little crack in the wall,
Could be the result of a serious flaw.
Something was wrong from the start,
It went down all the way to my heart.
Buried so deep, I'm the master of disguise.
I'm dumb as a sheep, because I gave into the lies.
All God has to do is lay His little pinky
And though it may be a little stinky,
All the junk comes oozing out.
But nothing in me is allowed to pout,
After all, I couldn't stand it,
So I asked Him to shred it, destroy it, burn it, kill it.
Shred it with Your Mighty hand.
Destroy it by Your Sovereign power.
Burn it in Your Holy fire.
Kill it with Your gentle Spirit.
So why should I be surprised
When my weaknesses begin to arise,
They rise to the surface,
 Moving towards the furnace.
I try to let go, but I want to hang on,
I've gotten comfortable with the pain,
Don't want to live without the stain,
Without them the difference would be stark.
They've truly become my trademark.
He gives me a look, like that of a parent.
And all of the sudden my sin becomes apparent.
I won't live in shame, or fear, or regret.
But I'll keep on asking it:
Shred it, destroy it, burn it, kill it. 
Tear it up, to build it back up again.








 

Psalm 28:13 "I am confident of this. I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."

Wait. What an awful word.... that's exactly what I thought when I read this verse. I read it in the middle of this kind of prayer. See if you can identify with it. "Lord, I pray that you would show me what you want me to do. Jesus, I want to be used by You. Come and give me a work. Show me what You want me to do. At least give me a little encouragement. I'm desperate for You!" Sounds familiar? Oh and this is during a time when you are full of doubt, turmoil, loneliness. All you need is for God to say SOMETHING! And..... then He gives you Psalm 28:13. Wait. That's the Word. Wait, and seek My face. Be strong, take heart, and wait for Me. That's what God said to me at the beginning of the year. Waiting can bring out the worst in us. Have you ever been waiting in a doctor's office for hours before? First, you decide you're going to keep yourself really busy texting or reading. When that gets out you tap our foot against the floor impatiently, our eyes dart back and forth. After an hour goes by, you make a path in the floor, and thoughts are running wild, thinking... why is it taking this long? Finally you go up to the front desk, and ask his receptionist why it's taking so long. When she smiles calmly and says, "Just 2 more minutes", you feel like smacking her in the face. Waiting is the best thing God uses to reveal our sin to us. If our lives were perfect all the time, we'd probably get a little too comfortable with our sin. One thing about this illustration that I find interesting is that we try to stay busy to make the waiting period go by faster. We don't want to think about the fact that we're waiting. We can even prolong the waiting period by staying busy, because God wants us to come to the end of ourselves. Another thing that occurred to me when I read this verse was that, in order to wait for the Lord, I have to be in a place and position to wait for Him. I can't wait to see the doctor, if I'm sitting at home and refuse to go to his office. I'm definitely in this season of waiting. God just keeps putting it on my heart to stay in His presence. He says, "Wait for me. I'm coming. I have a work to do in this season, but just be strong and wait." And if you're reading this, be strong. Take heart! Wait on Him. Don't try and be busy with other things. Let Him work on You while you wait. We will see the Lord in the land of the living.